Animals Are People, Too. Delicious, Delicious People.

A few weeks ago, I posted about some items left by one of the pet owners (or "parents" as they prefer to be called) of the building. I mentioned that they have a little club here in these Luxurious Hollywood Hills Apartments that excludes, shuns, shames and annoys the non-pet owners of the building. The person who left those items out for the "Dog Lovers" of the building must also be responsible for the ASPCA literature lying around on the table this week:

The ASPCA is one of the polite, kind, gentle animal rights groups, like the WWF or STOP--Save The Oppressed Polyesters. They distribute calendars with fuzzy polar bears on them and understand that people are going to keep eating meat, but they're still fighting the good fight to get the animals treated more humanely while they're alive. Couldnt' agree more.

But then there's that... "Other" animal group. You know, the ones who somehow think that violence towards people will curb violence towards animals.

They're the belligerent, over-zealous types ones who leave literature like this all over the place:

Ominous pamphlets such as "Elephants in Zoos: The Truth Revealed" and "Try Vegetarian!" The person who left this propaganda is clearly the woman who assaults you outside of your grocery store, hollering about how animals are tortured before they're killed so you can feed your fat face with them.

And the whole time she's screaming at you about how you're the Anti-Christ for having a hamburger...
...she's forgetting to feed her fish.


Way to go, killer. Guess you're having sushi tonight.

Stop, Collaborate and LISTEN!

First up, I want to thank NeighborGoodies enthusiast Kate who managed to shed some light on yesterday's Goodie.

As it turns out, this thing. . .


...is actually a valet--a rack to hang a suit on. The bottom metal ring is to dangle your pants while the top hanger-like thing is, well, a hanger for a suit jacket. There's even a hook for a tie! And the top ashtray is used to deposit high class items such as cuff links, tie clips and money holders, because you're rich and you wear suits all the time.

Clearly, I don't dress well enough because I've never crossed paths with such a piece of furniture. I apparently am living in less luxury than the other tenants in my building, who have spare suit racks just lying around their apartments.

Anyway, onward and upward. The creators of today's NeighborGoodie have managed to avoid the current "Blu-Ray or HD-DVD" quagmire by simply choosing to distribute their new film on VHS.

Ladies and Gentlemen, Look . . .and Listen:


According to the back of the video box, this collection of three short films is "an honest look at inner city teens and their struggle to avoid drugs and alcohol." It is written by local teens and their mentors...which might explain why the characters have names like "Preppy" and "Little" and "Cheez."

If you click on the images below, taken from the back cover, you'll be able to read the synopses of the three short films, as well as the full story behind the creation of this collection:



These films, with their universal high-school themes of running with the wrong crowd, teen pregnancy, drug abuse and people named Cheez, remind me of ABC's Afterschool Specials which ran in the 80s and 90s--including my favorite: "Too Soon for Jeff" which starred Freddie Prinze Jr. as a master debater in high school whose future is thrown into doubt when he knocks up Jessica Alba. Too soon for Jeff, indeed. Hopefully, the characters in Listen's The End of Something New will follow in Freddie Prinze Jr.s footsteps and do the Right Thing!

And the best part is, you can take a copy for yourself and a troubled friend!

I do have to admit that as far as NeighborGoodies go, this one isn't so bad. At least it's got a positive message. Although since it is still sealed, it is clear that whoever had these tapes didn't bother to watch. She's probably a baby mama by now, living illegally in the broom closet contained inside of the NeighborGoodies laundry room, where she likely places her infant inside of the dryers at night to keep him warm. I half expect to find the bastard child on the blue table, left amongst the abandoned VHS tapes, toasters and old shoes. And when I do, you can bet you'll see it first right here at NeighborGoodies!