Planter's Feet

I had no idea how many horticulturists were also NeighborGoodies Enthusiasts! As many of you pointed out, the mystery item posted yesterday...


...is actually a pot used to plant herbs or strawberries:

Photo Courtesy of Lucia Pamela, via... the web or something.

You can add it to your little garden! Adorable.

But, as you know, I have a strict policy against taking anything remotely having to do with consumables from the NeighborGoodies table: No foodstuffs, no plates, no cups... basically, any Goodie that could end up in your kitchen or in your mouth should be regarded with nothing less than abject terror.

And here's why:
Today on the table, we've got some well-worn sandals....

...another pair of disgusting shoes, along with some exceptionally hideous socks...


...and these mystery podiatry items:


Now, I know we don't have to go into how unbelievably dirty and disgusting used shoes are, because you're a reasonable adult, and you know better than to take shoes from strangers--especially the ones in this building.

However, I want to discuss these rubbery blue... things.

They are slapped with the Ped Egg logo...

...but I can't for the life of me find anything about them on their web site.

I'll admit, I was only barely aware of the Ped Egg. For those of you who don't know, my friend Jon describes the Ped Egg as a "Cheese-grater for your feet." It's purpose is to remove dead skin as if you were having a pedicure! ("They make your feet bleed," he reports.) The Ped Egg-as seen on TV--looks like this:


But after hours of research (googled twice) I can't seem to find anything about the blue rubbery Ped Egg accessories. Are they part of the Ped Egg kit? Do they go inside your shoe? Probably not, since they are extremely thick, and would leave little room to wear your shoes comfortably. But they are unmistakeably shoe-shaped... So are you just supposed strap them to the bottom of your feet and walk around with them instead of shoes? That hardly seems safe... although you'd be less likely to slip on smooth surfaces.

And since you all were so smug and smart about the planter yesterday--maybe you can help solve this all-new NeighborGoodies mystery as well! So, anyone care to hazard a guess? What are those little blue rubbery things??

Move Over, Father Dowling.

Someone is unloading an assload of mystery novels. But not just your standard workaday mystery novels! No, sir...they are, in fact. . .


. . .the Best Mysteries of All Time!


The book Above Suspicion bears the Best Mysteries moniker, and was written by Helen MacInnes in 1939. It is not to be confused with the movie of the same name, in which Christopher Reeves played a paralyzed cop. Oddly, that movie hit theaters six days before his infamous horse-riding accident. Coincidence. . .or one of the Best Mysteries of All Time? YOU decide.

Also bearing the mysterious seal of approval:


. . .A novel entitled Friday the Rabbi Slept Late.

Apparently this is the first in a series of Rabbi Mystery novels...the titles of which seem to beg for you to grab a child's toes as you rattle them off:

Saturday, The Rabbi Went Hungry.
Sunday, The Rabbi Stayed Home.
Monday, The Rabbi Took Off.
Tuesday, The Rabbi Saw Red.
Wednesday, The Rabbi Got Wet.
Thursday, The Rabbi Walked Out.
Next Friday, The Rabbi Went Wee-Wee-Wee-Wee All The Way Home!

Ok, I made that last one up, but the rest are real. It seems as though the Rabbi is getting crankier as the week goes on, and the rest of the books in the series indicate that things don't get easier for our Holy Detective Hero.

Having run out of weekdays, the Rabbi looks to the future and considers retirement in Someday, The Rabbi Will Leave. Yet another novel finds the good Rabbi swapping religious beliefs in a Freaky-Friday style romp with a Catholic Priest in One Fine Day, The Rabbi Bought a Cross.

The Final Pair of Rabbi books: The Day the Rabbi Resigned and The Day the Rabbi Left Town, indicate that being a Detective Rabbi isn't all its cracked up to be. No word on whether any of these titles made the Best Mysteries of All Time list.

The other books on the NeighborGoodies table don't bear the Best Mysteries Seal of approval and, therefore, are clearly inferior:

Patricia Cornwell's At Risk, which sounds like a Lifetime TV Movie. And. . .

. . .a collection of "Four Exciting Mysteries!" Two of which sound like they are porn. (I'll let you decide which ones.)

Also on the table is this. . .


At first, I thought it was a reading lamp. I wondered if one of my Neighbors had given up literacy altogether by surrendering both books and bedtime lighting to the Table. But then I realized that while this may look like a lamp, there is no electrical cord attached. Also...that thing on top isn't even a light bulb. It's just...a thing. So what could this object be? Some sort of solar powered enigma? A device from another planet? A Murder Weapon??

This, too, was shaping up to be one of the Best Mysteries of All Time! Using my own sleuthing techniques (proudly learned from growing up watching Scooby Doo) I found this tag on the bottom of the object:
This labels calls it "Crackled Glass" and judging from the crossed-out price, I'm guessing this was given as a gift to one of the NeighborGooders. I deduce that the object didn't ever make it to the recipient's apartment. We can also assume that whoever the Gifter was, is probably not welcome into the Giftee's home anymore. Really, the only unsolved mystery here is: Why the crap anyone would buy this thing in the first place? Especially as a present.