Timely Travelers

Remember the year 2000? To me, it represented "The Future." I had big plans for The Future. We were going to have flying cars and jet packs! We were going to meet up with some aliens, and hang out on some new planets. And, best of all, we were going to have transporters, making our brand new, just-invented flying cars and jet packs obsolete!

OK, so maybe my plan wasn't very well thought out, but as a child of the 80's, that's what everyone was thinking.

Of course, as the Year 2000 got closer and closer and society in general realized that maybe that stuff wasn't going to happen, new predictions started to arise--mostly centering on the end of technology and, thus, the world. At the start of The Year 2000, the computers that ran our lives were going to explode, plunging us back into the dark ages. Phone systems were supposed to go down. And, of course, we'd all perish.

Those were the days.

Of course, 2000 seemed so far off for so long, and now, it's but a distant memory. But, thanks to the Power of NeighborGoodies, you can revisit those simpler, more irrational times by taking a trip to St. Tropez... Y2K style!!

This St. Tropez 2000 Plan Guide would have been a great gift ten years ago, but is probably a bit obsolete by now. But what a wonderful way to relive the year 2000 by taking a trip there using this guide! And, if I know my geography (and I think I do) you'll need a car to drive to St. Tropez, Y2k. But not just any car will do. You'll need one from that very special Turn-of-the-Millenium era. Perhaps, say, a Toyota Corolla from the year 2000...
...from Keyes Toyotaland!


Other than time travelers, who exactly, is this owner's manual going to help? No one wants this. If you have a 2000 Corolla, chances are you have the owner's manual. And if you don't, it's because you bought it from this asshead who took it out of his car and never put it back. Why? Why would he do that? Was he taking it home to study? Was it some light bathroom reading? And when he was done, was he just so impressed by the twists and turns of the plot that he felt the need to keep it out on the coffee table, proudly on display next to his candy dish and remote controls rather than return it to the glove box? I don't understand. It's not like it's a flying car.

In conclusion, fuck the year 2000. I want my transporter. And a jet pack to throw away.

CarJoy

Someone in the building is clearly shopping for a car, and the timing couldn't be better for me. My ten-year-old car, the Turquoise Bullet, is really starting to show signs of age. I took it into my mechanic this weekend for an oil change, and it wound up costing me a big pile of money that I wasn't really ready to part with.

So I was psyched to find some car buying literature on the NeighborGoodies table today:


This stuff for the 2008 Honda Accord is very informative. I assume that whichever neighbor left this stuff on the Goodies table was also handed this copy of Motor Trend during their Test Drive of the All New Accord:

And while they were out considering the 2008 Accord, my trusty Neighbor happened upon a Volkswagon dealership and also looked into the 2008 GTI MkV:

Now, if these were my only two options and I had to buy a car right this second based solely upon what I've found in Neighbor Goodies Central, here's what I'd say:

There isn't a huge price difference between these two cars, and without test driving either of them, I would probably go with the Volkswagon, if only because of my favorite feature on the car: The Integrated Logo. It just seems as though the folks at VW put it there just to fuck with you...and I've gotta respect that.

Of course, since I just spent a pile of money to have my car fixed...buying a car will have to wait. And although I've driven the car more than 115,000 miles and lord knows I've done more than my share of damage to it, I can rest assured knowing that the Turquoise Bullet will continue to ride smoothly for a long, long time.

How can I be so sure? Because this is my repair guy:

So until it's completely destroyed, you can look for me as I dance around the Turquoise Bullet...because Harry fixed it.

Idiot with a BMW!

Last week was a little light on the NeighborGoodies. Part of the reason could be that the elevators--the main gateway to the floor with the laundry on it-- were broken for most of that time. But don't worry. . .a paper sign posted over the elevators assured us that "a technician is on the way!" Apparently, he walked all the way from Mexico to fix our elevators. They broke again almost immediately afterwards.

But that's neither here nor there. The only thing I've found at Neighbor Goodies central (other than a copy of the Sunday Comics from January 13th) is the following DVD about your brand new BMW!

"Passion for Performance: An Insider's Guide to your BMW"

You'll notice that the case indicates that this is a collector's edition of this DVD. Whoever grabbed this really struck gold!


It's a "must see for every BMW Owner!" I didn't pop the disc in, but I'm guessing there are detailed instructions on How to Act Like You Own the Road and How to be a Jackass Even When You Aren't Driving.

I'm not saying that every BMW Owner is an idiot...I know several people who have them or had them, and they're all verynice. I'm just saying that there are a lot of arrogant asses on the road in LA. And many of them just happen to drive these things.

Do we think there are any Beamer drivers out there who would buy a new car for the sole purpose of getting this ultra-rare collectors' edition DVD? My answer is Yes.

How this BMW owner ever parted with this disc is beyond me. I'm not even sure how they had the time to drop this DVD off in the laundry room, since almost everyone in a BMW seems to be verybusy cutting me off every time I'm on the freeway.

I just checked on eBay...someone is trying to sell this DVD for FIFTY bucks.

Maybe I should start collecting these NeighborGoodies myself. . .