Office Space

The generosity from the residents of this building never ceases to amaze me. This weekend, apparently, someone cleaned out their home office, providing the basic building blocks to any small business ideas the neighbors might have, but perhaps didn't have the capital to make it a reality. This is the big break you've been waiting for!

You can't go wrong with this FREE Color Printer:

This Color StyleWriter 4500 was, according to this Wikipedia article, made in 1997. . .and discontinued in 1998. And judging by the level of dust and grime inside of this beast, that's probably the last time anyone has ever used this 4 color inkjet printer!


But the crustiness factor doesn't stop here. If you want to make sure you're infected with something, you should probably pick up this phone:

I'm not sure what the stain is on the bottom of the receiver. . .

. . .but I do know there is more of it inside:


Maybe this phone was used to dial 911 as someone was being stabbed in the face.

Or maybe someone just spilled some soda on it. . .either way, I touched it and will likely either end up in jail or in the hospital because of it.

In addition to a phone, a printer, no small business can run without light! And Lo, there was Light!


And, to back up all of your accounting and database information, you'll need this 2GB Jaz Drive for mac or PC!


Part of me was tempted to bring this baby home and see what sort of data exists on it...but then I lost interest. You should, too.

This decorative pillow, however, should re-pique your interest. (can interest be re-piqued?)

Set in Japan, this turquoise monstrosity is remarkably stain-and-tassle-free!

And every home-business needs a mascot!

This scary-ass doll comes with a stand that makes it hunch over horrifically:


Call me weird, but I sense a great deal of terror emanating from this doll. I'm almost as terrified of her as I was of Esmerelda from my Road Trip of 2005.

In fact, the hunched over angle of this doll matches that of this broken humidifier, also up for grabs in the laundry room:



I'm sure that this doll had something to do with the demise of this humidifier, as well as the demise of the home business that has liquidated its assets to the NeighborGoodie gods. I also have a theory that she's likely also the one who stabbed the 911 caller in the face.

Then she carried everything downstairs to lure some unsuspecting innocent soul into her cursed-antique antics, ala Friday The 13th The Series. She probably broke her spine while hauling the home office downstairs into the laundry room.

Good. The bitch deserves it.

And if Robey comes by, I'm not home. In other news, Robey has a myspace.

Ok, I gottago.

Blood, Sweat and Tears

Up for grabs this morning (And all weekend long, actually) are these pair of torn CK jeans...

They clearly belonged to some actressy-type in the building, or perhaps a small child, for they are pretty much microscopic. The jeans, along with the next few items, have been sitting in the laundry room for days, which is quite surprising, considering the objects' level of quality:

For example, take this very hip beige vest. . .

I can't wrap my brain around why this piece of heaven is still waiting for someone to claim it.

Oh wait..Maybe it's because right here, on the back. . .

...is a giant, gross lower back sweat stain!

I'm forced to wonder if whoever left this tried to wash it, and just left it down there when they discovered the stain wasn't coming out.

I'm also forced to wonder if whoever left this, also had the same thought process when leaving their white labcoats from Texas Tech School of Medicine. On first glance, these bright, white coats look brand new. . .

...aside from the BLOOD STAINS on them.

Hi, I live with murderers! And it's not the first time a killer walked these halls--The Hillside Strangler used to live here. Ahh! Everybody RUN!

On a side note, as it turns out, the whipping cream from the last post actually belonged to my roommate. He claims that he got it from work, and that it "smells like crap." Since it was taking up too much room, he placed it downstairs in the laundry room.

Ofcoursehedid.

I'm wondering if he left today's last item--a lovely purse/backpack combo.



It has three zipper compartments, perfect for holding onto your wallet, keys, glasses and any severed heads you might be carrying around.
Luxury Living in the Hollywood Hills, indeed.