Return of Carpet Madness

With the triumphant return of the elevators...comes the triumphant return of unwieldy and oversized Neighborgoodies!

Up for grabs today is this massive carpet, complete with what looks to be food, drink and cigar stains:


As filthy and stained as this carpet is...at least it's not from the bathroom, like the filthiest of all Neighborgoodies.

The unique design of this handsome carpet seems to be a cross between a chalk outline (drawn by a strokey chalk artist) and some sort of vein-like design. Perhaps it's a post-modern, artsy statement about the human condition--how food, drink and smoke impede the flow of your veins inside your body, as well as on your fancy carpet. Or perhaps it is an actual murder scene. It's hard to tell sometimes here in the Hollywood Hills.

Blue Monday

This weekend, there were lots of NeighborGoodies laying around. The first two tiny items are beauty product samples:
This teensy tiny container of Blue Chamomile Day Moisturizer is about the size of a quarter and came from EvanHealy company, along with this tiny bottle of Blue Lavender Cleansing Milk:

My question is, when did "blue" become an ingredient for face creams and "cleansing milk" (whatever that is)? A quick trip to the Evan Healy web site reveals that these are "Holistic" skin care products, but it doesn't seem to mention how much blue is contained in their products. According to the web site, these products were featured in an article in Martha Stewart's now-defunct Blueprint Magazine.

Then I realized that the rest of the items on the blue table that is NeighborGoodies Central, were also quite blue, including these two postcards:




Both of these postcards feature works of art by Eric Drooker from a 1992 book called Flood! A Novel In Pictures, which is described as "a modern novel written in the ancient language of pictures."

Is it a coincidence, or is someone consciously making an effort to remove the color blue from their lives? Perhaps they took it too literally when they were told to do something to get rid of their blues.

Also removed from their troubled life, this light blue 2008 weekly planner:



This one dollar blue item was likely purchased in order to help this individual gain control of their life, but was ultimately discarded six weeks into the year, without a single plan inside of it.

The final piece of blue baloney is quite similar to an item I was pissed off about just a mere ten days ago. Ladies and Gentlemen, it's the Return of Carpet Madness:


Yes...once again the NeighborGoodies table has been bequeathed a vehicle of feces in the form of a used toilet seat cover and bathroom floor cozy--with the same exact pattern as the red ones that appeared weeks ago--have a look:

A Neighboroodies Flashback!

Same hideous floral pattern....same misguided notion that someone in this building wants these things.

And finally, all of these blue items were being overseen by this pissed-off cat:


While the kitty itself isn't blue, I'm sure that it was still causing the NeighborGooder a mild case of The Blues, so clearly it had to go as well.

Hopefully this person searching for a sense of order will find happiness in her blue-less existence. And, hopefully, we here in the Hollywood Hills will benefit by getting their Smurfs DVDs.

It's Carpet Madness!

I can think of nothing more revolting than bathrooms...even though I enjoy my time in them.
It's one of the few times during the day where I feel like I can be truly alone. In the shower, on the toilet...people generally don't bother you while you're in there. If someone dares to talk to me while I'm in the bathroom, they get a swirly, plain and simple.

Anyway, as much as I love the idea of bathroom solitude, I'm well aware of the grossness factor. Bathrooms are just nasty. Period. But if there is anything more disgusting than a bathroom, it's NeighborGoodies from a bathroom!


My best guess is that one of the neighbors is redecorating her bathroom and, rather than throwing out this horrific red flowery used toilet seat cover, she has donated it to the NeighborGoodies pile, hoping to send it to a good home.

The fact that there's a matching....whatever the hell this thing is called, is merely icing on the (urinal) cake:



These two hideous items are free to a good home. . .because who doesn't want to take someone else's ratty old feces-covered bathroom carpet and toilet seat cover?