CHECK OUT THE NEIGHBORGOODIES THEME SONG!


By Wrapping Paper of St. Paul, Minnesota! Thanks, Tim!
Showing posts with label Wrapping Paper. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Wrapping Paper. Show all posts

Monday, December 8, 2008

Ghost of Christmas Past

Today on the Big Blue Table, we have a teeny tiny light blue plastic belt. . .

...which would be perfect for anyone on your holiday list who has a size negative four waist. Luckily, there's also some wrapping paper to go along with it...

...which is the same crappy kid-drawn wrapping paper that appeared on NeighborGoodies six weeks ago:

This rerun, of course, means someone took them off the table for six weeks with the intention of using these hideous pieces of holiday cheer and realized one of three things:

1. They didn't have enough money to buy anyone presents this year.
2. They've killed all of their loved ones (possibly with a light blue plastic belt. Which, I believe, the Hillside Strangler used when he lived in this very building.) Or:
3. Maybe, just maybe, they came to their senses and decided that a little Holiday Racism maybe wasn't the way to go.

Of course, you can read my full analysis of the wrapping paper here. In the comments section from that day, "Anonymous" wrote:

I like that your theme song was written by Wrapping Paper and your blog post was about Wrapping Paper. Hehe. Also, it helps that I'm really drunk right now.

Right you are, Anonymous! The NeighborGoodies theme song (always available right at the top of this blog!) is indeed by Wrapping Paper! And right you are again, Anonymous, by pointing out that it helps to be really drunk when reading this blog and/or listening to that song! I highly recommend it.

*hic*


Tuesday, October 28, 2008

Happy Holidaze

Greetings NeighborGoodies Enthusiasts! I'm back from my tropical vacation and ready to face the Laundry Room trash once again!

But first, I wanted to thank the kind folks over at Yard Sale Bloodbath for the extremely kind shout-out over the weekend. I’d like to welcome the new readers who sailed over here from the Blood Bath, and I hope you enjoy your stay! For those of you who haven't seen YSBB yet, I highly recommend it!

OK, now on to the NeighborGoodies! I went on a small holiday this weekend, so it’s only appropriate that I’ve found some holiday-themed items on The Big Blue Table.

Upon first glance, these three sheets of wrapping paper, all made by the “Save the Children Foundation," seem like timely and appropriate NeighborGoodies, since Christmas is a mere two months away. But let's take a closer look at these objects...

What’s unique about them is that the artists’ name and the title of the wrapping paper design is on each of the sheets. First up is 1997’s “My Angel” by Elizabeth, Age 8:

Elizabeth's generic "Happy Holidays" message is perfect for any December gift-giving fiasco you may have to endure. However, I do have one question about this drawing: What is the angel carrying?

She seems to be equipped with a wand of some sort—perhaps she’s using it to make those stars that are floating all around her. Or maybe it’s a Halo-er™--A magical stick which gives halos to those who deserve them. I suppose it could also be a Holy Magnifying Glass, used to solve any heavenly holiday mysteries that may arise during the season. That's my vote, since the simplest answers are usually correct.

Whatever the item, Elizabeth gets a solid "A" in my book!

Next up is “Antarctic Christmas” by Julia, Age 7:


This piece from the year 2000 features some festive looking presents along with some frigid penguins donning their gay apparel. Well, at least I think they’re penguins. This one could actually be a snowman, wearing a fake carrot nose and an ill-fitting jacket....

...and a bell.

Why is he wearing a bell? Is he a Christmas leper?

Julia, your message is confusing and your hatred of lepers is outdated at best. I don’t know how Save the Children ever put this yuletide travesty on a sheet of paper, to be perfectly honest.

C-.

Our last piece in the NeighborGoodies Museum of Art is this collection of multicultural kids is 1994's “Children of the World” by Laura, Age 14.


Despite its title, this piece does little to promote racial harmony. Aside from two African-American kids and this one quasi-offensively drawn Asian kid...

...most of the children depicted are white. But, to her credit, Laura does promote an unusually high tolerance for kids in overalls and berets:

...and isn't that really what Pre-Halloween Christmas is all about?