Actors Anonymous

As Oscar Fever fades, These final Oscar-themed Neighborgoodies will help you on the road to becoming an Academy Award Winning Actor:



Stella Adler’s Technique of Acting with a foreword by her student Marlon Brando is chock full of advice for the budding young actor and actress. Her method involves using your imagination. Some of her more successful students of her technique include Charlotte Rae, Teri Garr and Phyllis Diller.

The other thing that you'll need on your road to stardom is:


This book is as close to a bible as you can get in Hollywood. It boasts "Some methods AA members have used for not drinking." For example: "Eating or Drinking Something--usually sweet!" Apparently, if you have dessert, you don't want booze. Unless you're me.

Another method of living sober is "Staying Away from That First Drink." This theory is founded upon the basis that if you don't have a drink, then you won't have a drink. Seems logical, yet unhelpful.

Some of the more successful students of these techniques include Oscar Winner Mel Gibson, Lindsay Lohan and Phyllis Diller. Ok, that's not true. But you're not here for facts.