One Night Stand

This morning on my way out, I discovered the elevators were down. Again. So I had to exit the building and re-enter through the garage in order to make my way back into NeighborGoodies Central.

Unfortunately, I was too late. I saw a young couple leaving with a lightweight wicker night stand/end table thing. As I was pretending to wait with them for the elevator that never came, the couple squealed with delight at their new acquisition. Clearly, taking a photo of it would have been strange, as my anonymity is of the utmost importance to the Neighborgoodies Project... but I got a pretty good look at it.

Standing about three feet high and made of that dark Pier 1 type of wicker, it looked like it weighed less than an ounce. It was about 3 feet tall, but only about 8 square inches wide. The tiny stand also includes a drawer, perfect for storing any bibles or small remote controls you'd like to keep out of sight.

Of course, the couple may have different intentions. A neighbor of mine right in this very building had a similar table in his bedroom that he used as a "sex drawer," where he kept all of his unmentionables. He told me that it once belonged to his grandmother.

I said, "Really? You're using your grandmother's antique table as a sex drawer?" His reply was: "Well, it was probably her sex drawer, too."

We don't speak anymore. And that's also why I don't take any of the Neighborgoodies. You never know what the previous owner's grandparents were doing with it.