By Wrapping Paper of St. Paul, Minnesota! Thanks, Tim!

Friday, February 27, 2009

Cool As Ice

Today we have one of those NeighborGoodies that just baffles me.

Ok, so maybe they all baffle me. I think we can all agree that most of the items we find on the Big, Blue Table are pretty useless. No one really wants these items, but they are deposited on the table in the hopes that maybe they'll make someone else's life a little better. They aren't thrown away because the NeighborGooders think, "Somebody could theoretically want this. I wanted it at some point, I guess. So maybe somebody else will enjoy it!" I can at least pretend to understand that thought process.

But then there are the items that never should have made it to the Laundry Room in the first place.

Items such as Van Gogh Calendars...

...from 2008. I can't fathom its appearance on the Table. Instead of putting this in the trash on January 1, 2009, this person opted to hang on to this for two solid months before deciding, "Hmm... somebody might want this. After all, it is art!"

To this person, I say: "F YOU."

What kind of person would put this down on the NeighborGoodies Table?

I'll tell you exactly what kind: A Murderer.

Yes, yes, I know what you're thinking: "Oh God... Here we go on Yet Another Murderer Rant." I know you all think I'm insane because I believe everyone in the building is a murderer. But I'd like to clarify that I really only think at most there are only two or three killers in the building. Four max.

I'm sure you're wondering what makes me think that someone who'd leave a useless calendar would be a killer. Well, actually, it's what's with the calendar that really freaks me out...

Styrofoam ice chests, clearly used for body disposal.

Point for me.


Ludovica said...

LMAO!! I speculate the styrofoam chests held someones ridiculously oversized Christmas and Thanksgiving turkeys when they were delivered, and just now theyve finished with the turkey sandwiches they figured the delivery boxes are taking up too much space. I know this is far too sensible an explanation, but then I do still have a year 2000 wall planner in my kitchen so I guess I WOULD say that wouldnt I?... Muahahahaha.
....I'm still waiting for the Flux Capacitor and the keys to that damned Toyota you know.. I told you Y2K was a halfway decent year... but i have to say I personally wouldnt be tempted by someone elses 2008 calendar, I have my own and it's going in my personal archive.. cos 2008 was a pretty darn good year too! :-)

Fightin' Mad Mary said...

Back when I was a teacher I would have loved that old calender. I would cut those suckers up and make great bulletin board displays with them. We would also use them to make cards and such. Teachers have to be crafty.

Kate said...

Another teacher here thinking about how to use the pictures. It's especially good that they're FREE.

Jeff! said...

All right, I give. Only Murderers would leave these items... but only teachers would take them.

Marina said...

you're too funny!
and I am with you thinking that murderers are all around us :-)

Sara Reddy Coyne said...

Every morning I wake up and thank the air around me that I don't live in your murderer-infested building.

And I must say, given what's usually on the table, I'm surprised the year of the calendar is as recent as it is.