By Wrapping Paper of St. Paul, Minnesota! Thanks, Tim!

Friday, February 20, 2009

Timely Travelers

Remember the year 2000? To me, it represented "The Future." I had big plans for The Future. We were going to have flying cars and jet packs! We were going to meet up with some aliens, and hang out on some new planets. And, best of all, we were going to have transporters, making our brand new, just-invented flying cars and jet packs obsolete!

OK, so maybe my plan wasn't very well thought out, but as a child of the 80's, that's what everyone was thinking.

Of course, as the Year 2000 got closer and closer and society in general realized that maybe that stuff wasn't going to happen, new predictions started to arise--mostly centering on the end of technology and, thus, the world. At the start of The Year 2000, the computers that ran our lives were going to explode, plunging us back into the dark ages. Phone systems were supposed to go down. And, of course, we'd all perish.

Those were the days.

Of course, 2000 seemed so far off for so long, and now, it's but a distant memory. But, thanks to the Power of NeighborGoodies, you can revisit those simpler, more irrational times by taking a trip to St. Tropez... Y2K style!!

This St. Tropez 2000 Plan Guide would have been a great gift ten years ago, but is probably a bit obsolete by now. But what a wonderful way to relive the year 2000 by taking a trip there using this guide! And, if I know my geography (and I think I do) you'll need a car to drive to St. Tropez, Y2k. But not just any car will do. You'll need one from that very special Turn-of-the-Millenium era. Perhaps, say, a Toyota Corolla from the year 2000...
...from Keyes Toyotaland!

Other than time travelers, who exactly, is this owner's manual going to help? No one wants this. If you have a 2000 Corolla, chances are you have the owner's manual. And if you don't, it's because you bought it from this asshead who took it out of his car and never put it back. Why? Why would he do that? Was he taking it home to study? Was it some light bathroom reading? And when he was done, was he just so impressed by the twists and turns of the plot that he felt the need to keep it out on the coffee table, proudly on display next to his candy dish and remote controls rather than return it to the glove box? I don't understand. It's not like it's a flying car.

In conclusion, fuck the year 2000. I want my transporter. And a jet pack to throw away.

1 comment:

Ludovica said...

2000 was a good year. I got my first computer, the first and greatest Big Brother was on the air, I had a long weekend in Paris, I was still relatively fanciable instead of being the ghastly old harridan of today. The world was my burrito.. and I hadn't even met my douche-bag ex-boyfriend yet..
Ahh Happy days.. I'll take the Corolla to St Tropez.. Hand me the Flux Capacitor...