Before we get to the items, I just wanted to mention that today (well, I guess it was technically yesterday, but who the hell cares?) marks the one year anniversary of NeighborGoodies! Yes it's already been one year of sneaking around & taking photographs of my neighbors' discarded items, then secretly mocking them for the world to enjoy. And much like every other one-year-old, this blog will continue to babble on nonsensically and be filled with poop.
To celebrate this milestone, I invite you to be our friend on Myspace, be our Fan on Facebook, and/or to sign up for the email version of this blog in the box on the right, in order to get each and every new post delivered to directly your mailbox!
However, the best birthday gift of all would be for you to tell your friends! (Unless, of course, they Live in Luxury in the Hollywood Hills. In that case, let's just keep it between you and me!) Thanks for reading and, I assume, enjoying!
Today, the Post-Holiday-Dump continues for the Blog's Birthday! First up, we have this festive holiday place mat:
The image of Santa makes me feel as if he's posing for a headshot: He's got one leg up, he's leaning on his knee playfully, while holding his prop sack of toys. If he wasn't wearing mittens, I'd swear he'd be mock-shooting at you wryly with his fingers, while winking and making a clicking sound with his mouth as if to say, "*clack, clack!* Hey, fella! I'm fun! *clack!*"
Up next is the second-worst Christmas gift anyone could have gotten...
...a big sack of Premium Potting Mix. There's been a lot of crap on the NeighborGoodies Table in the past year, but I believe this is the first time an actual bag of crap has been left. I can just imagine the conversation: "Here, honey! Merry Christmas! Have some dirt!" If she was mad at that, imagine how much angrier she was when she received this:
Yes, that's right, ladies and gentlemen... Today on the NeighborGoodies table is a big bag of rocks:
Clearly, our out-of-work-actor-Santa ran out of coal on this leg of his trip and was forced to leave stones instead. Or perhaps this was someone's special passive-aggressive gift to their spouse, indicating that they Live in Luxury in a Glass House and should not be throwing stones. Of course, that probably ended in the gift-giver being jollily bludgeoned to Christmas-death by said bag of rocks.
Don't you just love the Holidays?
2 comments:
Happy birthday, NeighborGoodies! I'm so impressed that you haven't been caught by a neighbor with a sack fulla goodies.
My dad would love the rocks. He would sit you down and tell you about each one.. whether it was igneous, metamophic or sedimentary and list all the principle minerals contained therein. He would also tell you where in the world each has come from with an accuracy within 10 miles. Aren't you glad he doesn't live in your building?
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