By Wrapping Paper of St. Paul, Minnesota! Thanks, Tim!

Monday, January 19, 2009

Sam Hell

Generally, it's rare for any of the objects on the NeighborGoodies Table to identify their former owner by name. Usually, the objects are donated anonymously and are pretty much untraceable, leaving us to wonder who the NeighborGooders were and why they left us such nonsense. In fact, I believe there were only two times I've been able to identify the NeighborGooders by name--once was child artist prodigy V Jaiem ♥, and the other was a girl named Samantha, who may actually be indirectly responsible for these items as well:

"Sam's Mix," featuring a guitar-playing Jesus rocking out on the cover, is a homemade CD filled with songs from the 80's and 90's which, if they were recorded today, would be classified as "emo." But, as they are from the Pre-emo (Premo?) Era, they fall under the Punk/Goth/Industrial/Alternative umbrella:

Bands like Bauhaus, Red Lorry Yellow Lorry, Joy Division and The Jesus & Mary Chain make up the bulk of this compilation, which was lovingly crafted for Sam by Jo:

The whole scene screams of a lesbian love affair gone wrong. Were Sam & Jo once a couple? I imagine Samantha experimenting with Jo, perhaps even falling in love with her during her first year in Hollywood (Slogan: "It changes people, man!™") Soon after deciding she was a lesbian, Jo convinced Samantha to go by Sam, reasoning that "There's no room for a MAN in SaMANtha." Samantha agreed and dropped the "antha" from her name, placed her parking placard and girly mint-green skirt on the NeighborGoodies Table last April and began her lesbionic life with Jo in the luxurious Hollywood Hills.

Of course, first loves can't last forever. And with the passage of Prop 8 here in California last fall, gay love is particularly frowned upon (Thanks, Mormons!) With all the extra stress of being a blight on society, Sam began to grow apart from Jo.

Jo made this heartfelt mix on a blue CD to reflect her sadness and try to convince Sam to stay. With this selection of songs, Jo was telling Sam she wanted her lady back so they could once again have Sex On Wheels. But for Sam, the Novelty had worn off. The Christian Right had gotten to her, warning of the Burning Skies about to fall, and telling her to get rid of the Blood Evil (Mix) within her. Without listening, Sam returned the CD to Jo, telling her to Take It* back.

And thus ends the great love story of Sam & Jo. Jo stayed behind in the Luxurious Home they shared in the Hollywood Hills to try and pick up the pieces, convincing herself that Sam was Only Shallow. Luckily, Jo met a cute little waitress down the street over the weekend, and decided to drop off the CD that she's been holding on to--her last piece of Sam--officially having gotten over her once and for all.

Sam, for her part, is likely out coaching a softball team somewhere, still searching for a love that will match that of Jo's. But deep down, she knows no love will even Scratch the surface.

In order to prevent this story from happening to functioning homosexual couples throughout the land, I urge you to visit Equality California's website to find out what you can do to help! Save the Gays! Because if you don't, who else will dress you?

*FYI, There is no music video for "Take It" by the Jesus & Mary Chain.

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