Angel's Ashes

If you need this book...

..."The Flirt Coach's Guide to Finding the Love You Want," chances are you, like me, are going to die alone. While I am hoping to do so quickly, whoever initially picked up this book clearly is in no hurry, as they are trying to find someone to torment for the rest of their lives.

The Flirt Coach has a series of books out... but this one, according to Amazon, has a simple philosophy: "We can only find the love we want when we start being who we truly are."

I initially thought that maybe someone dropped off this book after being successful at snagging a partner, but judging by the other items left on the table, I started thinking maybe that isn't the case.

Is it possible that any of the passages include advice on how to give the perfect gift for your angel?

Or that the book includes a section on how to provide unique and sensual kisses?

If so, I'm guessing that a ceramic violin-playing cherub and a hand-decorated empty wine bottle isn't quite what the Flirt Coach--or this NeighborGooder's former potential partner--had in mind.

Imagine being presented either of these items from someone hitting on you. If anyone over the age of eight hands me something and says, "I made this for you," I tend to think it's going to explode. Unless it's an empty, decorated wine bottle... in which case it is my head that will explode.

Is it Wine O'clock Yet?