By Wrapping Paper of St. Paul, Minnesota! Thanks, Tim!

Tuesday, January 13, 2009


Before we get to the new NeighborGoodies, I want to give an update on what was left behind the other day. On Friday, this bag of cassette tapes and office supplies was left on the Big Blue Table:

Over the weekend, I noticed that some obsessive-compulsive NeighborGooder arranged the contents of the brown bag in order, seemingly so that any would-be takers would be able to see the full collection of Poison, Warrant & Skid Row albums available in this dead format:

They also put the assorted office supplies off to the side within the sack which, I later discovered...
...were pretty much the only things that anyone had any interest in during its tenure on the NeighborGoodies Table.

At the other end of the table, another bag of crazy appeared:

I looked inside and found this phone...
...these shoes...

...and this Triple Tropical Fruit Smoothie Blistex.

I think it's appropriate that one pair of these shoes have little skulls & crossbones on them...

..because clearly whoever dares to use this Tropical Blistex will be poisoned.

I know the economy is in a terrible state right now, but I have to put my foot down...and not into these filthy shoes. I've said it before on this blog, but apparently I need to reiterate it: No One Wants Your Ratty Used Ass-Sneakers. They just don't. YOU don't want them; what makes you think anyone else wants them? And, for the record: THEY DON'T WANT YOUR HERP-INFESTED LIP BALM EITHER!

Unless someone came upon the NeighborGoodies table after wandering the desert for weeks on end... their shoes in tatters and their lips blistering, I am going to go ahead and say that these items can safely be placed in the dumpster without hauling them from your apartment down into the laundry room.

The only item even mildly interesting in this sack is the red phone, which looks like it might have belonged to Commissioner Gordon:

The phone is quite heavy, and its weight (made up almost entirely of dust) along with the instructions on it imploring the user to "Wait for Dial Tone" actually made me think that this was an original, classic rotary type phone. But, upon closer inspection, it turns out to be an impostor! According to the back...

...this phone was manufactured in June of 2006. That, coupled with the fact that it isn't a rotary phone at all...
...makes me doubt its authenticity.

But it's still better than used Lip Balm.


Kate said...

The shoes and the lip balm are truly filthy, but the phone is pretty cool. You know, if it was cleaned up and I actually used anything other than a cell phone these days.

Arranging the cassettes is totally something I would do as I was waiting for my clothes to dry. Sick, I know. But seriously, what else do you have to do in the laundry room?

Ludovica said...

I know it's really retro of me but I still really love cassettes... I have no idea why... how odd