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By Wrapping Paper of St. Paul, Minnesota! Thanks, Tim!

Friday, September 12, 2008

Framed!

Someone in the building is trying to rid themselves of their precious memories:

Lots of empty picture frames are littering the NeighborGoodies table this morning. Some of them are plain...


...and some are a little more fancy...

...and some even feature "Genuine Clear Glass!"
Obviously, no expense was spared when this person initially picked out these frames. We also know that the NeighborGooder who donated them is well-traveled, having been everywhere from Puerto Rico...

...to Alaska...

...where they clearly splurged on a real Alaskan Picture Frame!

The NeighborGooder is also a huge pop culture fan. Why else would they have this tasteful frame with the NBC Logo handsomely adorning it:


But this is no ordinary frame. No! This one opens up into a photo album...
...in case you want to keep pictures of your favorite NBC stars, such as Bill Cosby, Jerry Seinfeld and Bea Arthur!

So what kind of person would have this odd collection of frames? Clearly, they were amassed over many years, as evidenced by this loving tribute to the frameholder herself:

Of course, she's kind of the worst grandma ever, since she left a photo of her grandkid in this one:

Ouch...that stings, Grandma. That stings.

Why was this the only photo left in the frames? Is Grandma trying to tell us something? Perhaps her granddaughter was the Bee Girl from Blind Melon?

Maybe Grandma is embarrassed of her granddaughter's former pseudo-celebrity status, and had to get rid of the evidence--bee and all.

Needing more answers, I made sure no one was around and quietly unhinged the back of this photo frame to see if there were any other clues to the girl's real identity--perhaps a name scrawled on the back of the photo?

What I found was much more disturbing:

...another photo! This one of an older woman wearing an lei.

You'll need a closer look at this picture for sure:

This woman's expression--an evil grin, if you will-- is only more disturbing when you take into account the fact that it seems as though she's not wearing anything but those flowers. Her raised foot in the background also gives me chills.

There's no picture frame on the table to suggest that Grandma's been to Hawaii, and I don't think they have leis in Puerto Rico or Alaska or even at NBC, so I'm not sure if this is Grandma herself, or perhaps Grandma's daughter: AKA Bee Girl's mom.

Either way, if I see any of these people wandering the Luxurious Hallways of the Hollywood Hills--I'm running the other way.




2 comments:

InALittleMinute said...

ACK! I agree that lady with her foot in the air wearing the Lei is def scary!

kevin said...

She reminds me of one of those "my grandma is a hooker" ladies from Jerry Springer.