By Wrapping Paper of St. Paul, Minnesota! Thanks, Tim!

Friday, November 7, 2008

Thou Shalt Not Steal

People steal things from hotels all the time. In fact, they want you to take many of these items: The shampoos, the pads of paper, the pens all bearing the hotel's logo... It makes sense to take some of these items. After all, who couldn't use an extra pen while traveling? Of course, I would never take any of these things for the same reason I don't want anything off the NeighborGoodies table: Who knows what sort of filthy animal was handling it before you? It's bad enough I have to see the crazies who leave things on the Big Blue Table. I can't help but believe that the the unseen, unwashed masses who were in my hotel room before me are even worse.

Which is why I'm disturbed that someone, somewhere--especially in a place as luxurious as the Hollywood Hills--would ever think it's a good idea to take one of these from a hotel:

This rubber no-slip mat that magically prevents you from killing yourself by slipping in the shower is one of the filthiest things (but not THE filthiest) that has ever found its way down to the NeighborGoodies Table. For the love of God, all the dirt, grime and disease that was on anyone before they jumped in the shower passes over this item on its way to the drain. People, please be aware, these things are not brand new when you step on them, and there's no way to tell how many people were on this thing before you, or what was oozing out of them at the time.

Now to the case at hand: Not only was someone disgusting enough to take this thing out of their hotel, pack in their suitcase next to their clothes and bring it home... This person then used it, realized that it was annoying and possibly a biological threat, then discarded it not into the fiery inferno that would destroy its germs, but into our laundry room where just anyone could take it.

This is likely the same type of person who takes the dirty-ass towels from hotels as well, despite the fact they feel like sandpaper and they often make you bleed when you use them. To hell with those towels, and to the hotels who think they are fooling us into believing that those filthy items are anything more than rusty razor blades sewn together.

And, most importantly, to hell with the NeighborGooder who thinks any of us want this rubber piece of Athlete's Foot.

1 comment:

Zak said...

I'm concerned that you've slipped and fallen in the tub- no new post in days. Perhaps you shouldn't be so quick to judge a gently-used safety device.