By Wrapping Paper of St. Paul, Minnesota! Thanks, Tim!

Tuesday, July 15, 2008

Pot of Gold

They say at the end of a rainbow, you'll find a pot of gold. However, when the end of that rainbow is found at a big, blue table, you'll find treasures of a different sort. Treasures such as this astonishingly bland-looking book called, well, Rainbow's End by Irene Hannon:

The book was a free gift with something and is described on the cover as "A wholesome, tender romance novel." The absence of a shirtless man holding a half-naked woman on the cover gives this novel a distinct "Christian" feel, so I opened the cover to read a little bit about it, and Irene's bio and accompanying photo confirmed my suspicions:

This photo makes Irene look like a former nun, and the bio describes her books as "emotionally gripping" and tells us they feature "hope-filled endings that highlight the tremendous power of love and faith to transform lives."

I've never heard of a romance novel with a Christian edge, so I did a little more research on Irene. This bio uses the term "ecclesiastical" and describes her as wondering "if she is the only person in America who doesn't own a microwave!" Apparently, she doesn't live near a NeighborGoodies table, otherwise she'd have one.

I assume, since it's Christian, that the main character drives a station wagon, has lots of cats and doesn't actually sleep with anyone. She prefers, instead, to hold prayer groups, bake cookies and secretly pleasure herself before running to confession. Sounds like a real page-turner.

Also left behind is a little romance-novel mood-lighting:

This Cande-Lite brand candle, which smells like dust and sadness, provides the perfect compliment to read your Christian romance novel by! It's a match made in Heaven!

But I'd rather have a pot of gold.

1 comment:

Scott said...

It's official. Jeff Nucera has supplanted David Sedaris as not only my new "Favorite Comedy Writer Riffing on Christian Erotica," but really my "Favorite Comedy Writer."


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