By Wrapping Paper of St. Paul, Minnesota! Thanks, Tim!

Monday, June 29, 2009

Baby Overboard

I'm pretty sure you know what my policy will be on this item:

Who would leave such a thing on the table? And furthermore, who is this for? Who's taking a used baby bottle to feed their own infant?

I can hear at least one person saying it now: "Well, in this economy, people need any help they can get."

To anyone who offers this argument, allow me to offer you a punch in the throat. Nobody Living in Luxury in the Hollywood Hills wants to save four bucks by taking a used-and-probably poison-riddled ba-ba from a faceless stranger. Unless, of course, the baby mama is looking for one less mouth to feed. Basically, this is the equivalent of giving the kid some bleach to swallow in the laundry room... except the bleach is cleaner and you probably know where it's been.

Instead of infanticide, perhaps you might consider leaving your unwanted baby in this basket that was also abandoned on the Big Blue Table:

I mean... it turned out pretty well for Moses:

Note: This is not actually Moses.


Ludovica said...

It came with baby included? LOL nice job!

When my daughter was born my then husband fetched a whole load of second hand baby bottles etc from a charity 2nd hand shop. I never used any of it. Why piss about with sterilizing chemicals etc when nature provided everything baby needed for free? (sorry was that too graphic?) my baby never had anything plastic in her mouth until she was old enough to use a spoon.

E-Rock Obama said...

you crazy girl