By Wrapping Paper of St. Paul, Minnesota! Thanks, Tim!

Friday, April 10, 2009

Worn Out

This shirt...

...has been on the NeighborGoodies Table for a couple of days now and I haven't been able to write about it, mainly because it sort of shuts my brain down when I look at it.

The gun, the strange letters (The "И" is a major problem for me) and the phrase "Boom Goes The Dynamite" (which, by the way, you can read about here) are combined here in such a way, that my brain can't comprehend it. It's as if I'm being Tazed... My mind is just shutting down, and I don't know why.

It's all so confusing... what are those round things supposed to be? Are they Coins? Buttons? Targets? And whose autograph is that reprinted in yellow towards the bottom? Why would anyone sign this? WHAT IS THIS THING? What's it for?????

Fuck this shirt, and fuck whoever left it.

I need a nap.


Ludovica said...

Interesting shirt! As far as I can make out from my limited knowledge of Cyrillic it says
Vonted (I kid you not)
Rrana (Prague I think) 2007
Boom goes the dynamite
thank you
Timur Yemamyetov"
best I can do.. heres a little aide memoire

1. Some letters are virtually the same as in English. The Cyrillic letters A, K, M, O, and T are close relatives of their English counterparts. The Cyrillic letter б (which looks like a lowercase "b") also makes a "b" sound. The letter "C" always makes the "s" sound, like in the English word "cite."

2. Others are closely related to Greek. Frat guys and sorority girls already know the letters Г (gamma), P (rho), п (pi), and ф (phi), which are the English equivalents of "G", "R", "P", and "F", respectively.

Easy so far, right? Check out a few examples:

a. кафе́ = ?

b. бар = ?

c. о́пера = ?

d. ро́бот = ?

Look below the fold for the answers...


a. кафе́ = cafе́

b. бар = bar

c. о́пера = opera

d. ро́бот = robot

See? Easy. On to the next lesson...

3. Some letters are imposters. They look familiar but don't sound like their English counterparts. The Russian letter "H" makes the "N" sound, "y" makes the English "oo" sound, and "B" sounds like the English "V." This letter, И, which looks like a backwards "N", makes the "short i" sound, as in the English word "pin." The Russian letter "Я" sounds nothing like it's mirror image in English. Instead, it makes a "ya" sound, as in "yacht."

Wth me so far? Here are a few more Russian words you already know.

a. Интерне́т = internet

b. CпyTHИK = Sputnik

c. POCCИЯ = Russia

d. PECTOPAH = restauran(t)

4. The rest of the letters, well, they're just jerks. You've never seen 'em, and you just have to memorize how they sound. Here's a quick run-down.

Ц = "ts" as in "pizza"

Ш = "sh" as in "shoe"

Л = "l" as in "lamb"

ж = "zh" as in "measure"

Д = "d" as in "door"

З = "z" as in "zebra"

Ю = "oo" or "yu"

Ч = "ch" Since the letter looks like a "4" and makes the "ch" sound, think of the word "fortune." Four-chun. Get it?

There are a few more subtleties and even a couple more letters in the alphabet, but we've only got five minutes here, and I think you've got the gist of it.
X has a sound similar to an "h" in English, as in "house."
The most amusing letter is "Ы" It is hard for Western folks to pronounce it. There is no exact English substitution for it, "Y" is usually used because there is no other alternative.

Time for your final exam. Candy will be e-mailed to the top scorers.

a. You're in St. Petersburg and you see a restaurant with this written on it: MAKДOHAЛД'C. Where are you?

b. You're in a Moscow bar and would like to drink something authentically Russian. Someone suggests Bо́ДKA. What are you having?

c. You're applying for your Russian visa and a form asks whether you've ever criticized the Russian президе́нт. What's it asking?

Answers McDonalds, vodka, President

Jeff! said...

Holy Crap... you solved the case!

But I still need a nap...