Wet Pets (and other things that blow)

Today, we’re going to play Guess the NeighborGoodie!

Upon first seeing this attachment. . .

…you’d be correct to think that perhaps this is some sort of vacuum cleaner. But then you see this filthy thing attached to it. . . .


. . .and you realize that anything this dirty couldn’t possibly be used to clean anything.

So what is this disgusting item?

Why, it’s the Bubble Spa by Homedics!

It turns any bathtub into a Bubble Spa with Thousands of Tiny Bubbles! The sticker on the front indicates this product has been seen on TV, which generally is code for "Infomercial!” And you just know it features clumsy people nearly perishing by trying to turn their bathtubs into Jacuzzis.

Unfortunately, I couldn’t find a video of it, so I went right to the Homedics web site, which features dozens of products for your home spa—some of which have been “featured in television and radio commercials nationwide.” Wow! Commercials! On radio and television! How fancy! I’ll take two of everything!

Unfortunately, the Bubble Spa is nowhere to be found on their web site, which is filled with images of people relaxing--none of whom seem to be anywhere near any of the HoMedics litany of useless products.

A quick glance at the Bubble Spa on the As Seen On Tv web site sadly reveals that this product is no longer available.

There seem to be a lot of Bubble Spas for sale on Craigs List all throughout the country, which may indicate a general failure of the quality of this product. But I think this anonymous review on infomercialads.com, entitled “Great For a Bird Bath” sums it up best:

I've had this spa mat for two years now and not only is it loud, but the bubbles are way too strong for relaxing (even on the low setting). Your limbs get knocked all over the place and, if you attempt to read a book with it on, it will certainly get wet. I was planning on returning it until I discovered my parrot absolutely loves it and constantly attempts to visit her 'friend' in the bathroom. Her favorite activity is to sit on my shoulder with hardly any water in the tub (since she's clumsy) and this thing going on full blast, sounds pretty fun right? So although I would probably only give it two stars, it gets an extra one just for the sheer bath-time listening pleasure it provides for birds. (If I may have seriously sold you on this for your parrot, make sure you get the one without heat, no reason to take the chance of Teflon on the poor creatures- mine is the older version). Also, the mat is hard to clean if it's not kept meticulously dry.

Thank you, Crazy Bird Lady, for your perspective. I can’t help but wonder if the woman who wrote this review lives across the hall from me. She seems like the type who would have a house full of "clumsy" birds that she systematically drowns in this Bubble Spa. The first bird-murder may have been an accident, what with her limbs being knocked all over the place and all…but I feel like she’s the type who loved the feeling of power. She likely continued to buy parakeets at the local pet shop until the shopkeeps figured out her scheme and put a lifetime ban on her. And once the birds were gone, why keep the evidence?

Or maybe she just got rid of it because it was filthy:



Gross. Put “other people’s soap scum” on the list of things I don’t ever want to see on the NeighborGoodies Table again. Or is that bird poo? hmm...