By Wrapping Paper of St. Paul, Minnesota! Thanks, Tim!

Tuesday, October 13, 2009

Beauty is in the Eye of the Needle

With the right tools, there's no telling what a budding artist can make.

A print like "Suburban Refuge," for example...
...doesn't just happen. The artist must be inspired by the things around him. Monte Dolack was clearly moved by the alarming amount of bird poop in his bathroom, which lead him to create what he's best known for: The "Invader Series" of prints, which are comprised of "wild animals wreaking havoc in human homes." Most people would just invest in a window for the gaping hole that was clearly in his bathroom. But like all great artists, Monte thought outside the box!

This specific print, complete with its sun-bleached appearance and cheap, cracked frame is a perfect addition to "art-up" any home--especially one in the Luxurious Hollywood Hills! And I bet it's big enough to block any holes that fowl may be using to fly in from outside!

But not every artist is as prolific or talented as Mr. Dolack, and not every artist can create such beauty using images. No, each person must find their own muse and their own instruments to create art. Some use music, others use words (Hey! Maybe I'm an artist! Why not?!) and there are the precious few that can use...

...balls of yarn about the size of your head.

Unless there's a giant kitty chasing you, there are probably only two real practical uses for this alarming amount of yarn: Knitting an extremely large sweater, or crafting tens of thousand scarves.

To be fair, it's getting cooler outside, and with this yarn's Fall foliage-inspired browns, yellows and reds, it seems like now is the perfect time to begin creating your own clothing!

And for some extra pizazz, you could even use the "Embellish-Knit!"

Embellish-Knit is some sort of sewing gadget that adds fanciness to whatever it is you're trying to put together, allowing you to unleash your inner Fashion Designer.

Due to the fact that I neither sew, nor care about sewing, I can't really be bothered to tell you any more about this instrument. But here's what I do know: Not everyone should be making their own clothes...

I for one am glad that whoever designed the above monstrosity immediately surrendered their yarn and Knit-cheater, before even attempting to craft sleeves onto it.

And yes: I know that all forms of art are subjective... but I'm sure we can all agree that this thing is made of ugly. I'd rather wear the bathroom rug after Dolnack's pigeons are done with it.

Come to think of it, they do look kind of similar...

Hmm...guess I could be an artist after all!


Ludovica said...

I have to admit I am fascinated by the ball of wool, (I suspect a previous incarnation as a cute kitten)and the contraption which is, I suspect, a device for making tubular (or French) knitting for piping effects etc. The unfinished knitting project looks very like the vomit of an overfed six year old just home from a birthday party.

The picture is horrible. There's something about sun-bleached "art" that calls to mind house clearances and, by association, dead people, charity shops and other poverty issues. No thanks.

Nancy said...

Monte Dolack is on Twitter - I had to look.

Also googled him. His fish prints are ... interesting.

Thanks for expanding my cultural knowledge a little bit today, NeighborGoodies!