Hats Off

Today we have a million billion hats on the NeighborGoodies Table...

...ok, maybe there's only six. And two of them are the same. But it's kind of like a million billion.

According to The Village Hat Shop's "Hat-isms" page (yes, they have a "hat-isms" page):

"Historically, hats have often been an integral, even necessary, part of a working uniform. A miner, welder, construction worker, undertaker, white-collar worker or banker before the 1960s, chef, farmer, etc. all wear, or wore, a particular hat. Wearing 'many hats' or 'many different hats' simply means that one has different duties or jobs."

It kind of makes you wonder what sort of duties this lad Living in Luxury in the Hollywood Hills had. This hat...

...indicates, of course, that he worked at the Mobil station pumping fuel and selling gum for 87 dollars a pop. With the steady downturn in Gas Prices and the economy as a whole, he was likely let go, which would make anyone... mad as a hatter! Hey-o!!

This one, with three tomahawks on it...

...indicates that he is, perhaps, a chief for a Native American tribe. It also indicates that the job of Indian Chief is more physically taxing than I had ever thought possible, judging from the extent of the sweat stains beneath the rim:


Obviously, this violates the ancient Native American rule of "Never Let 'em See You Sweat." Our hero was once again removed from power... at the drop of a hat!

OK, seriously.... I'll stop with the hat jokes. They're... OLD HAT anyway!

Ahem...anyway, the rest of the hats have No Fear and RealPlayer logos on them:

I imagine this guy lost his gig at the Real company years ago, during the dotcom bust. It was his favorite job--the feather in his cap, if you will. (sorry) Now, he spends his days in home in the Hollywood Hills.... just waiting for another job to come up, being a burden on society.

Oh wait... that's me. Hooray for unemployment!!

*sigh* Ok....I guess I'd better put my... thinking cap on to concentrate on finding another job!

(I hate myself)