Gurl, Put Your Records On...The Table.

Today, a gigantic pile of records--over fifty of them--are hanging out on the Big, Blue Table.


I, for one, love a good vinyl; It's kind of like listening to your MP3s in black and white. Of course, I don't have a record player anymore, mainly because it's 2010 and mine broke sometime before NBC became the never-ending tire-fire of network television.

But enough about that, let's talk about these gay records.

No, I'm not quoting an eighth grader; I mean these records are actually gay...


...Like, super-gay.

If they could, these records would go to a rave, dance with their shirts off and then go and pose for the No H8 Campaign:

Note: Please click on the above record for maximum hilarity.

It's as if whoever owned these records went to the Gay Store, asked for the Gay Store's "Stereotypical Stereophonic" section and fully cleaned the Gay Store out of their Gay Stock of lavish Broadway musical soundtracks...

...and any other gay icons he could get his hands on. He no doubt began with the Village People...

...LOTS of Village People, in fact...

...before moving on to even gayer icons such as Judy Garland...

...Barbra Streisand...
...and Burl Ives:
Oh, you may think Burl Ives isn't a gay icon, but you'd be wrong. First of all, you know those hats on that album cover are fabulous. And secondly, here's photographic proof of Gay Icon Rock Hudson...

Image found over at Queer Music Heritage

...with a Burl Ives record on his floor.

Now, I'm not saying the records left on the Big, Blue Table were Rock Hudson's...


...but I'm not saying they weren't, either.

So why would someone get rid of what may or may not be Sexy Star Rock Hudson's Big Gay Record Collection?

One word: HomoShame.

I have it. And clearly a Neighbor of mine does as well. Finally, something in common with these rubes.