By Wrapping Paper of St. Paul, Minnesota! Thanks, Tim!

Tuesday, March 10, 2009

Battle of the Axes

Konnichiwa NeighborGoodies Enthusiasts, and greetings from Tokyo, which is where I am, and will be for the next few days for work. If you want to read about my travel adventures, there’s a blog somewhere about them, although there's nothing there but an awesome graphic at the moment.

Clearly, you're here for some NeighboGoodies--and lucky for you, a vast array of craziness appeared on the NeighborGoodies Table last week:
I had no time to present them to you, as I was busy preparing for my sudden trip to Japan. And so, I will be happily reporting on those items while I’m here in the Land of the Rising Sun, getting blinded by all the bright colors and being crippled by the toilets.

First up, I want to start with the craziest of the crazy. I know we’ve been talking a lot about murderers here at NeighborGoodies in recent weeks, and some people seem to think that maybe I am paranoid and somewhat delusional when I say there are psycho killers roaming the halls of my apartment building . Well, to you I say "HA!" Now, I can PROVE once and for all that there is at least one murderer in the building.

"How," you ask?


Someone left one on the NeighborGoodies Table.


Yes, that’s right. It’s a fucking inflatable Charles Manson.


No sane person has this. None. So go ahead—you try to tell me that there aren’t murderers in my building! I dare you! Not only is Manson a murderer, but he killed a bunch of people right in Hollywood. Hooray.

In fact, that’s part of the reason I’m in Japan. I feel like this is a sign that some bad shit’s going down, and I want to be as far away as possible when it does

Also, who is making this? I mean, it says so clearly right here….

…but why? It also indicates that there are three other inflatable murderers out there, probably lurking in the Luxurious Hollywood Hills Halls. They're all part of the "Bizarre Icons" family...

...and the back of this monster has a suction cup, so that you might hang it from any of your windows for inspiration, or perhaps stick it to the tiled wall in your bathroom and use it as a flotation device, should some plumbing problems occur.

For those of you who are curious, the story of Charles Manson is printed on the back as well:
Feel free to click on the photos to read about this killer. But keep in mind that if you do, I will know not only who you are, but how crazy you are.


Anonymous said...

oh, my gosh, I love your blog! so funny. This post is freaking hilarious; the bad part is that I would probably feel like you if I found the stuff you find...:-)

Ludovica said...

I had to make an unscheduled bathroom stop I was laughing so much at this! I actually cant breathe I'm laughing so hard. WTH? who? why?

OK you really do have a murderer in your building
I can't even believe such an item is made let alone sold, or that anyone would have the mindboggling insensitivity to leave it on a Hollywood Hills laundry table for anyone to find. I mean.. uh?
You don't think someone is onto you and left this there on purpose to f**k with your head do you?
It seems way too bizarre to be by chance.. The murderer is onto you man. I'd invite you to hide out here, but you already know I am insane because I have a Y2K wall Planner still, so I doubt you'd feel safe, alas. I'm not surprised you fled to the other side of the planet to be assaulted by levitating cartoon bears.. you could scarcely do less!

Ludovica said...

* Extremely rare UK magazine promo, collectable Charles Manson Inflatable Icon
* Exclusive for Bizarre magazine subscribers (2000)
* 7" x 14" printed white vinyl
* Bizarre Icons 1.Charles Manson Family Man (1934-) /on back

(from Amazon)

Kate said...

Wow. I have no words.

Stay in Japan.

MelancholyChild said...

So not fair... wish someone would leave one of these lying aorund at my place.... Such an incredibly difficult to find item.