By Wrapping Paper of St. Paul, Minnesota! Thanks, Tim!

Monday, March 1, 2010

Orange You In Love?

I think we all know how exciting it is to find a box of something on the NeighborGoodies Table. Why, they're could be anything inside...

...well, anything except an actual fresh and juicy orange, that is. As I gazed upon this tin of citrus amazement, I couldn't help but wonder what it contained...

and whether it would, indeed, eat the fruit of the orchard. Could this thing contain some sort of blight designed to wipe out the citrus crop? I was terrified to open it--I certainly wouldn't want to cause a nationwide bout of scurvy by unleashing whatever orchard-eating organism could be inside! Is this a true-life Pandora's Box right here in the Luxurious Hollywood Hills?

I briefly considered just leaving it be, but then common sense took over and I opened it to discover...

...a sack of Valentine's Day Sweethearts. Valentine's Day has a track record of being pretty bleak here in the land of NeighborGoodies. And based on the rest of the items surrounding these Message Hearts, I'm going to go ahead and assume that this VD was no different--it just took longer for the evidence to appear. Imagine if you will a romantic dinner:

Girl makes delicious dinner for Boy.
Boy brings an assortment of gifts for Girl. Many of which involve flowers and candy. One of which involves this item to rest whatever dessert Girl has made:

"Girls Love To Feel Special," is the inscription here, but the implied message reads "...when they are allowed to serve their man dessert."

Now I love cake as much as the next guy, but giving your lady this cake server for Valentine's Day is just asking for trouble.... and for a night on the sofa with only a burlap sack for warmth:

Personally... I'd rather have scurvy.


Ludovica said...

Haha How wise you are:D I can't speak for other women though apparently, as theyre mostly totally weird and unaware how deeply seated their programming goes, but, if i was given that I have a feeling I would stare blankly at the donor and wonder what the f they were thinking of. As if dessert even stays around long enough to reach a plate, let alone a cake stand. Pretty often it gets eaten straight out of the box on the way homee from the store.
This may have a lot to do with having no man to serve dessert to anyway? or is that the other way around? Recently my father bought my mother a casserole dish. It made me laugh&cry how thrilled she was... like ... uh?

Jessica B. said...

Haa! I'm the one who put the frickin' cupcake stand there! It was an off the cuff gift from my mom, who is notorious for giving me the weirdest stuff. Like, penises that expand when you put them in water and pencils that say someone else's name on them.