By Wrapping Paper of St. Paul, Minnesota! Thanks, Tim!

Monday, August 3, 2009

Sad Sack

If you found a bag on the street, what would you do? There could be anything in there. A pile of cash... or a used baby! Of course, if you're like me, you'd think it was a bomb and you'd run as fast and as far as you could, hoping someone else will eventually deal with it before thousands are killed and/or injured.

But for some reason, when I find a bag on the NeighborGoodies table....
...I always--always--open it, even though I know it will be filled with some sort of unholy terror. This bag's terror is in the form of a teddy bear...

...who is clearly stuffed with sadness:

Have you ever seen a more pathetic looking toy? When you look into his eyes, you can almost see the tears welling up beneath his furry face. It's as though he just found out he has an inoperable teddy bear tumor, and instead of doling out the cash for his treatment, his owner chucked him into an oversized purse and put him onto the NeighborGoodies Table to rest in peace... or filth.

Also included in the oversized purse is this light blue sack of loveliness:
Of course, I can't help but look inside of this thing either, though I strongly suspect there's at least one eyeball inside of it. I reach in and pull out...

...some sort of material that curiously falls somewhere between wax paper and plastic bag. I'm not sure what the stuff is, or why it was inside. Was it to make it seem like the clutch was full of something besides sadness? Did the carrier want people to think she was walking around with wads of cash? Was this an accessory worn to a poorly-attended fundraiser intended to raise money for the tumor-bear's treatment?

Whatever the reason...I'm glad just glad it didn't explode. Although it would have finally put that poor bear out of its misery.